150 Pounds

      Beauty

Talking about myself is too narcissistic but is my way of telling my other side and sort of defending myself to people who judge my physical appearance. Some people would judge and mistaken me for being “maldita”, snobbish,”maarte” and worst “sosyal”. Well, maybe because of my fair complexion, the shape of my eye brows and my dark past. :)

When I was in 5th grade I gained 70 kilos and that was the dark days of my life,I'm too shy to go out and make friends with others.Even my own cousins I am shy to play because I know  they will teased me.I just want to stay at home and eat. That moment,I became loner and feel pity for my self.

I lost my self esteem and became invisible to the eyes of others.  Then I decided to lose weight by not eating. That was really my desperate moves, and there was a time in my life that i became bulimic, I vomit in order not to gain weight.

 After a couple of months I achieved my goal, I almost lost 20 pounds and I am happy.I can wear what ever I want,I can go out without any hesitation of being bullied and I feel new about my self. But there are times in my life that the past hunt me and I became paranoid because i am scared that my past body will return.

With the help of my family and friends I surpass that mentally disturb illness in my life. :) Being fat is not a big deal but having a physically fit body is somehow gives you a good feeling and motivation. To look good is to feel good. My motto after that 150 pounds days of mine.

People have the right to judge without knowing who you really are.

But you also have the right to not care. :))